Perpetual Piffle

It happens at work.  You pass by someone in the halls, or on the way to your desk.  They’re humming something to themselves and you can’t make it out until you get close… and then it's too late.  You won’t be able to wrestle the song out of your head for weeks. You gradually lose all sense of sanity until you’re brainlessly writhing on the floor humming the same tune over and over to yourself.

The Hampster Dance
This song is why therapy was invented.

Crazy Frog - Axel F
This poor rendition of the Magnum PI theme tune was one of the worst pieces of music ever released. Couple that with an irritating CGI frog, and you’ve got a recipe for the most annoying creature ever created by the industry.

Cotton eyed Joe - Rednex
Where do you even begin with this?  Techno plus redneck plus an electro-fiddle. They perfectly captured what dragging a plastic fork across a china plate sounds like if you extended it into a song.

Friday - Rebecca Black
When the 13-year-old had her parents buy her the chance to make her own music video, there’s no way she could have predicted how ‘successful’ that video would be.  It's as if the lyrics were found in a "My First Words" dictionary.

Chinese Food - Alison Gold
It it wasn't so topically offensive,it would make an excellent Disney Kids song.

Crush On you - Nero
The video begins with scenes of a teenage schoolboy romancing four teenage schoolgirls on what appears to be the grounds of a British boarding school. The four girls are then seen together singing along to a karaoke track of the song in a dorm room followed by a scene where they, along with other girls, dance in a circle in a field while wearing white nightgowns.  The video then takes a darker tone, as lightning strikes the dormitory and the four girls writhe on the floor. As the video continues, it is revealed that the girls cast a spell on the boy in front of a love shrine in the dorm room. The video ends with the boy fully clothed and unconscious on a dorm room bed, with his book bag under his arm. Each of the four original girls appear separately and sing into his ear that they have a crush on him.

Mahna Mahna - The Muppets
A sonic earworm of the worst kind. If it is your ringtone you are probably secretly a serial killer.

Ode To Joy - The Muppets
Meep meep meep meep.

Earth Song - Michael Jackson
"What about elephants? Have we lost their trust?" ponders MJ in this moment of multi-millionaire-looking-out-of-his-Lear-Jet-but-trying-to-sing-about-the-issues environmental sincerity.